Thanks!
The process that led to all these insights, which I publish on this website and elsewhere, was a period known in spiritual traditions as the Dark Night – a radical transformative process that dissolves all previous references to the world and the self, and can leave one in a state of complete inner, and often outer, darkness for a considerable length of time. My Dark Night lasted a very long time, and for almost five years of that I lived out this inner dissolution in the external world too, on a long journey, often without a permanent home; I did house-sitting, travelled by bike and later in my little old camper van, stayed in AirBnBs, lived in various share houses, spent some time on the Shetland Islands and lived in Denmark for a few months – and in between, I repeatedly stayed with friends who put me up for short or longer periods when I could no longer find my place in the world.
When I set up this website in 2023, I wrote about it once before: Nothingness.
Back then, I had no idea that this inner and outer journey was far from over. Exploring this years-long process in retrospect is part of the research and publication process I’m working on – I could and can see that it took the radical nature of this life to gain these insights. And at the same time, it was often more than I thought I could bear.
There are a few people who, during those years, were always there for me in my very real life, gave me a temporary home, listened to me and put up with things they often couldn’t understand themselves, and in doing so, among other things, helped me get through it all.
- Hanna Hündorf and Ralf Heymann
- Corrie and Arnd Naundorf
- Christina and Reiner Sogl
What they all have in common is that, through their hospitality and willingness to help, they have time and again provided a degree of stability that is almost impossible to put into words.
People going through spiritual crises need real, other people and places where they can simply be themselves. In Germany during the coronavirus pandemic, such places did not exist – and to this
day, no new ones seem to have emerged. But there are people who step in as human beings where society currently cannot.
I received a great deal of practical support from Christian and Natalie Fleck – again, it is hard to express what it meant that they were there for me when I
no longer knew what to do on my own. This also applies in a very special way to the practical support provided by Verena Neuenschwander, and Alexandra Retkowski. I would also like to mention Sven Graumann for his practical support during a long period when the inner work
was so challenging that the external framework he provided me with at the time offered the necessary protection. Regine Drewniak and Martin Lohmann repeatedly
provided me with a safe haven in my former home town, where my body could allow itself to simply be ill for a while.
And last but not least, there was and is my son, Florian Wichers, who continued to see me as his mother, spoke to me as such, and repeatedly challenged me,
even when the situation seemed so unusual. Alongside the significance I saw in my research findings, this was the strongest and often the only reason to carry on when something inside me wanted
to give up.
Roman Angerer was, particularly in the early years of this inner and outer journey, a friendly companion on the path of navigating what were initially such
unfamiliar territories for me, and is at the same time a colleague in the field of consciousness research. Verena Neuenschwander has stood by me through many
of the dark moments and, over the years, has become an ever closer friend and conversation partner, particularly regarding the mystical aspects of being. Brigitte
Eva Petri has long been a friend and conversation partner to me, especially in the respective struggles with the darknesses encountered on these inner and outer paths.
Many others were there, with small and big things, through conversation, practical help, or in other ways, for a few days or over longer periods: Frank Behrens,
Ullasa Nelles, Moana Hanke, Dorothee Bornath, Sabine Kirchner, Christine Borrmann, Fiona Blythe, Anne Morgan Mark and Bitten Fynsk, and all the people and Theodor the cat from my time at Søgård,
Dorina Steuck and Fynske, her stubborn pony, Svenja Hubenthal, Maury Lee, Jens Winterhalter, Mario Gruhn, Stina Deurell, Gerburg Weiß, the community and their animals in Hullersen, Carola and
Thorsten Moczalla, Peter Bornholdt, Gregor Geissmann, Ariadne Schrey, Marianne Gallen, Undine Häßler, Karen Lupton on Yell, Shetland, the people from the flat-share in Klein Nordende, Cathleen
Pohl and Andre Willing, Regula Sommer, Amir Freimann, Annelie Nilsson, Purvi Shah-Paulini, Vigdis Garbarek, Silke Grimm on behalf of the ZEGG community, the people at Chisholme House, my
patient colleagues, particularly Sonja Hoffmann, at the ZESS at the University of Göttingen; my (former) GP, Claus-Carsten Geck; and all people who supported my research so far ... on different
levels, many of them via my GoFundMe-page.
I can hardly list everyone now, after such a long time –but I am very grateful for every single person who accompanied me for a brief or extended moment on this journey, and every exchange and
every bit of support I received.
Thank you all! Without you, I would not be.
21.02.2026
I am now in a period of transition – the Dark Night seems to be giving way to dawn more and more. New events seem to be emerging in time and space at an ever-increasing pace, giving rise to a sense of hope within me that these years were not ‘in vain’ – clearly a thought rooted in a sense of personal identity. And yes, there is a desire within me to be able to experience a ‘good life’ once again. At this point, I would like to thank Anke Lessmann and Robert Wolf for their appreciation of my work and my being over the past few months. I feel increasingly encouraged in this transition towards a new embodiment of being.
With this, I conclude this page – I hope to be able to report on all further developments in a context of increasing realisation of what has been experienced, explored and gifted.
3 June 2026
